On a rainy afternoon in Sweden, I sat in a small café with a Swedish woman, sipping coffee and chatting about everyday things. Then, out of nowhere, the conversation turned to women’s rights, Islam, and Western values. These topics aren’t something I usually discuss casually, but what she said next left me speechless.

“If women want to live in Sweden,” she said, “they must be forced to wear Western clothes. They shouldn’t be allowed to wear hijabs or cover their hair. If they want to do that, they should go to Afghanistan or Iran.”

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Her words stopped me in my tracks. Sweden is known as a country of freedom and acceptance. Yet here I was, hearing someone suggest controlling how women dress—forcing them to follow one way of life. It felt hypocritical, like criticizing one kind of oppression while promoting another.

In my opinion, her perspective was very similar to the Taliban’s enforcement of burkas. Both ideologies, though on opposite ends of the spectrum, rely on the same principle—control. Whether it’s forcing women to cover themselves or banning them from covering up, both are examples of imposing a dress code through power and coercion.

The underlying message of both approaches is the same: women cannot be trusted to make their own choices. That, in itself, is the very definition of extremism—using authority to dictate personal freedoms.

The Words That Hit Me Hard

As we kept talking, her opinions became even more troubling. She argued that women who cover their hair or wear modest clothing couldn’t be considered “educated.”

“A truly educated woman,” she claimed, “doesn’t hide her body or hair. Women who do that belong to uneducated societies.”

I couldn’t help but think of the amazing women I’ve met over the years—women who wear hijabs and are doctors, scientists, professors, and engineers. Their work saves lives, shapes minds, and builds the future. How could anyone claim they are uneducated because of what they wear?

Then, the conversation shifted again. This time, she talked about what it means to be “progressive” in Western society. According to her, a progressive, independent woman:

  • Doesn’t care what society thinks.
  • Ignores others’ feelings.
  • Focuses only on her own success.
  • Breaks all traditions, no matter what.
  • Does whatever she wants, without worrying about the consequences.

Hearing this, I felt a deep discomfort. Is this what progress looks like? A person who disregards others and leaves behind all traditions? To me, this didn’t feel like progress—it felt like selfishness.

The Parallels Between Extremism in the East and the West

This conversation left me grappling with a haunting truth: the line between freedom and control is far thinner than we like to admit.

When the Taliban enforces strict dress codes, the world rightly condemns them for denying women their autonomy. But when Western societies propose banning hijabs, isn’t that just the other side of the same coin? Both approaches strip women of their ability to choose.

The rhetoric might sound different—”protecting tradition” versus “promoting progress”—but the outcome is the same: women’s bodies and choices become a battleground for ideological control. Whether it’s the Taliban or a Western government, extremism takes root when personal freedoms are sacrificed to enforce conformity.

The Questions I Couldn’t Stop Thinking About

After that conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about three big questions:

  1. Can we call it freedom if we’re forcing people to make certain choices?
    If we tell women they can’t wear a hijab or modest clothes, how is that different from forcing them to wear one? Real freedom means letting people choose for themselves.

Take Malala Yousafzai, for example. She wears a headscarf and is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, fighting for girls’ education around the world. Her scarf doesn’t make her less educated or progressive. It’s a part of her identity, and she’s proud of it.

  1. Why do we confuse unity with everyone looking the same?
    Diversity is what makes societies rich and strong. When people from different cultures, faiths, and traditions come together, we learn from each other. For example, I’ve seen schools where children share stories about their holidays, like Christmas, Eid, and Diwali. These moments don’t divide us—they bring us closer.
  2. Does breaking all traditions really mean progress?
    Not all traditions are bad. Some are about love, community, and respect. For example, in many cultures, eating meals together as a family is a tradition. It teaches us to care for each other and build stronger relationships. Isn’t that a tradition worth keeping?

What We Can Do to Move Forward

That conversation taught me that we need to reflect on how we treat freedom, progress, and diversity. Change starts with all of us.

What We Can Do as Individuals

  • Challenge stereotypes. Instead of assuming, ask questions and learn about other cultures.
  • Support personal choice. Whether someone chooses to wear a hijab or not, respect their decision.
  • Speak up. If you hear something unfair, like the comments I heard that day, don’t be afraid to share your perspective.

What Communities Can Do

  • Start cultural exchange programs. Schools and workplaces can hold events where people share traditions, clothing, and stories.
  • Encourage dialogue. Create spaces where people can talk openly about their experiences and values.
  • Celebrate diversity. Highlight the achievements of people from all walks of life to show that success looks different for everyone.

Stories That Inspire Me

There are so many examples of people and communities embracing diversity. Here are a few that give me hope:

  • The school that celebrates “Cultural Day”: Students and parents bring dishes, clothes, and traditions from their cultures to share. It’s a fun and eye-opening experience for everyone.
  • The workplace that adapts: A Swedish company created a policy allowing women to wear hijabs while maintaining professional dress codes. It’s a simple change that shows respect for personal choices.
  • The community center that builds bridges: A local center hosts workshops where people from different faiths discuss topics like parenting, education, and traditions. These conversations create understanding and friendships.

This experience taught me that true freedom isn’t about making everyone the same. It’s about respecting people’s choices and allowing them to live as they are. Progress isn’t about abandoning traditions or putting yourself first—it’s about moving forward together, with empathy and respect.

Real freedom means:

  • Supporting women’s right to dress how they want, whether in a hijab, jeans, or a sari.
  • Understanding that education is about building empathy and knowledge, not judging appearances.
  • Recognizing that progress includes listening to different perspectives.
  • Knowing that tradition and progress can coexist—they don’t have to cancel each other out.

A Personal Reflection

Looking back, what troubled me most wasn’t just the opinions expressed in that conversation. It was the broader idea that progress and freedom require control or selfishness.

Freedom can’t be forced. Progress doesn’t mean breaking everything old. And education should lead to understanding, not judgment.

Moving Forward Together

Building an inclusive world takes time, patience, and effort. But it’s worth it. Here’s how we can start:

  • Be patient. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
  • Be persistent. Even when it’s hard, keep advocating for inclusion.
  • Be empathetic. Try to understand others, even if you don’t agree.
  • Take action. Don’t just talk about change—be part of it.

Sometimes, the most uncomfortable conversations teach us the most valuable lessons. That day in Sweden, over a cup of coffee, I learned that real freedom and progress come from letting people be themselves while respecting everyone else.

#FreedomOfExpression #HumanRights #FashionPolitics #CulturalIdentity #DressCodeDebate

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